"12 Step Program"

May 14th, 2004

 
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Fans of The Outliers continually commend us on the variety of our song repertoire, and bemoan the general state of contemporary music. To these fans, we present The Outliers 12 Step Program to assist in your musical transformation.

1. We admitted we were powerless over the lure of contemporary music, and that as a result our musical lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of The Outliers as we understood them.

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of our musical selves.

5. Admitted to The Outliers, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our misguided musical taste.

6. Were entirely ready to have The Outliers remove all these defects of our musical preference.

7. Humbly asked The Outliers to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all the people we dragged to see Neil Diamond (or insert other middle-of-the-road artist of your choosing), and became willing to make amends for them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others (like real, true Neil fans).

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we wanted to listen to popular music, promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through The Outliers to improve our conscious contact with a higher level understanding of music as we understood them, listening only for knowledge of what The Outliers will provide for us and the power to listen correctly.

12. Having had a musical awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to top40aholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

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