"Dear Mom & Dad,"

April 2nd, 2004

Dear Mom & Dad,

I am running away from home. I need to find myself and explore all of the exciting things that the world has to offer.

I thought of joining the Foreign Legion. But honestly, I don't have any clue what it is. And it's probably full of people who don't speak English, and given the D+ I got in Spanish this semester, I thought perhaps Europe wasn't for me.

So then I thought about back-packing across Europe. But since I don't think that they have Nickelodeon and MTV, I thought better of it.

I also considered joining the circus. Then I remembered that I still get kinda freaked out by clowns, and my eyes get a bit watery and itchy when I'm around animals. So I bagged the circus idea.

I then thought that going to Hollywood would be cool - maybe get into acting and become a big star. I've always thought I'd be good at acting. But then I remembered how nervous I get when I have to speak in front of people, so I chilled Hollywood.

Traveling across the US and seeing all the wonders of our great country appealed to me. But a friend of mine's father just told me about all of these anti-government militias in the small towns in the US. He said that they're like cults. He mentioned one called The Colorado Curmudgeons, started by some guy named Karl - jeez, I wonder if it's Marx!!

So, with all my other dreams dashed, I decided to become a groupie for this band called The Outliers. They're like totally cool, especially for a bunch of old guys. And most importantly, they don't have any groupies yet! Can you believe that?! So I'll finally do something no one else has ever done (although I do wonder why they don't have any groupies yet).

OK, I'm off to The Outliers' gig tonight. By the way, if after the gig I can't find a place to crash, I'll sneak back into my old room - if that's OK.

Hugs & Kisses




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