Music Humor - Bass Players

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  Q: Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
A: It took him an hour to get the drummer out!
A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?" "Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's lesson?" "Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"
Q: How do you get a bass player off of your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: What do you say to a bass player in a three piece suit?
A: "Will the defendant please rise?"
The singer stopped the rehearsal when he saw the bass player crying. "What's wrong?" he asked. "The guitarist untuned one of my strings!" stammered the bass player. "So what's the big deal?" demanded the singer. "He won't tell me which one!"
Q: Do you know what happens when a bass player takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller.
Q: Why is a fretless bass like a SCUD missile?
A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.
A missonary is in the jungle and he can hear the drums beating in the distance. They go on for hours and he asks his guide what they are and the guide says "The drums are very, very good. If they stop, it is very, very bad" "Why is it so bad if the drums stop?" the missonary asks. The guide answers "cuz when the drums stop...bass guitar solo!!!"
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1...5...1...(1...4...5...5...1)

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